The Best Worst Mom Ever

Today is my son's birthday. 

I didn't plan a big party with a petting zoo and carnival rides, I didn't make any cute handmade banners as seen on Pinterest, or craft any favors or post on Facebook about how much he means to me.  I didn't even get him a card, or a present. 

We are all recovering from the flu and just got back into our house last night.  All he wanted for his birthday was to be back in the house and to just relax all day and play video games.

He woke up at 5:21 a.m. and started playing Minecraft on the computer.  His brothers had to do all of his chores today and he went back and forth between Xbox and Minecraft.

I rolled out of bed at 10 a.m. and rolled onto the couch next to him.  We snuggled under the covers until his Grandma came with presents and then his Grandpa showed up with donuts and presents.  After noon I went to the store and bought him Fritos and Bean Dip and Dr. Pepper which is what he requested for lunch.  There were no antioxidants in any of it, to my knowledge.

Then I sat next to him while he played video games.  I went online and read a story and a profile of one of his fanfiction buddies he had been telling me about.  And he told me secrets.  Although he will deny that part.

Years of birthday traditions were laid aside. The guilt and the shame of my lack of preparation threatened to distract me from enjoying the moment.

Dirty dishes littered the house.  I found a half eaten chicken drumstick next to the clean laundry wrinkling on my dining room table.  Half unpacked suitcases lay everywhere.

And he was having the best time ever.


Dear Jesus, you are enough for me, yet you gave me my son.  Thank you for him and his brothers.  It was his birthday, and you gave me this gift:  the reminder that you are faithfully teaching me how to be a mom.  How to be a gift instead of buying gifts.  How to lead them to the One Perfect Gift.  Birthdays bring the pressure to be perfect, you bring Grace.  Please help me to give that gift generously, to him and his brothers, to myself, and to others.

Travel Hacks

Here are a few items that I always like to pack when we head out for a trip:

1.  Pump hand soap
Hotels will supply bar soap, but we have contracted the stomach flu on vacay, so I always like to make it as easy and as close to our home routine as possible to wash our hands.


2.  Baby wipes
In between babies when everyone is potty trained, we still carry the wipes around.  How does anyone get along without these things?  I like to use baby wipes for peanut butter smeared faces and an antibacterial brand for wiping questionable hotel surfaces.  Wipes also come in handy for cleaning up puke on the side of the road.

3.  Paper towels, plastic baggies and a little trash bucket from the dollar store
We learned a little late to pack this essential.  Don't let car sickness find you unprepared.  Think about how long that smell is gonna linger in the car seats.  I also think you can figure out how helpful a plastic (airtight) baggie can be in this situation, unless you are cool to throw out soiled clothing.  I think we have discussed this one enough.

4.  Duct tape for road trips
My Daddy swears that this will keep your car going those last 10 miles in multiple scenarios.  Think busted hoses, hoods that won't close, etc.  Trust me, you may have the car washed and waxed and perfectly organized when you leave on vacation, but by the time you pull up at your destination you very well may look like National Lampoons.

5.  Tylenol, Advil, (whatever pain reliever/fever reducer your doctor recommends)
You may all leave for vacation the picture of health, but if an earache hits a little one at 2 am, you and all those in the camp sites or hotel rooms around you will wish you thought to bring this along.  My apologies to Big Sur campground and all its campers on 7/21/2011.

6.  A sense of humor
When you end up needing any of these items, whether you have car trouble, car sickness, or any of the minor bumps that seem major when you are far from home, remember that the vacation is not ruined.  I read a book by Gary Smalley where he asked his kids about their favorite vacations.  They all agreed that it was when the family had gone camping together.  He was shocked, because they were often caught in a deluge of rain, or stuck with mechanical difficulties, or found they had forgot some important item at home.  The kids had enjoyed working through the challenges together and looking back at them later.  I always try to think about that to help me get through the situation without feeling like a failure and move forward.  And my kids really do seem to forget the little set backs and remember the fun times.  Or they enjoy making fun of us for the set backs.  Which is okay, too. 

Your Online BFF's Guide to Breastfeeding for Those Who Hope to Nurse or Having Trouble, Part 1

If you are considering breastfeeding, many people may tell you how natural and beautiful it is.

If you are in your first couple of weeks of breastfeeding, you may find yourself wanting to rip those people's eyebrows off.

The first couple of weeks of nursing your baby are can be very disappointing if you are like most women who struggle with breastfeeding in the beginning.

In no time, breastfeeding will become second nature.  Natural, easy, sanitary and always available.  But you have got to hang in there those first couple of weeks when it is painful, messy and knocks away at all your confidence as a new mom.

If you are having a hard time breastfeeding,

Sweater Boots, Vomitus and Togetherness

For this moment, we are living out of a hotel.

I am sick with the flu.  Or croup.  Or a flu that makes you bark like a seal.

I am sensing the morning sickness ebb away.

I feel like a terrible mom.

My kids feel like I am a great mom, because homeschool has been greatly condensed and they have gotten to watch more television and play more video games than the law allows.

We got to the end of what clothes I was able to pack during our lightning evacuation from plumbing distress.  My husband laughed at my outfit.  I ran away to Target in an attempt to better myself.  He laughed even harder a half hour after I got back when he finally noticed my apparently sad attempts to better myself.  I guess the sweater boots I purchased on clearance did nothing to improve my capri sweats and sweater outfit.

Sigh.

You know what?  It's okay.

Sometimes, during the moment, we only see the challenges.  Like the time we arrived at camp at 10 pm only to realize we left the tent poles at home.  Or the numerous vacations where we have found ourselves on the side of the road trying to clean vomit out of the crevices of a car seat.  Or a few days ago when we were huddled in the bathroom trying to convince my preschooler that it was okay---that he really wasn't missing anything---and it was time to fall asleep. 

Time passes and the gift of perspective comes and it is the working out of challenges that bonds the family.  Those challenges become shared memories and shared jokes.  The "you had to be there" jokes where we were there.  Together. 

People Showering In My Driveway

As my home is now a hazmat area, there is now a shower in front of my doorway for your decontamination.



I knew that one day that would happen if I kept putting off the dishes.

Wow

I am so grateful that we are finally in a hotel that can accommodate us.  We stayed in a hotel close to our house for three days, and it was OK as it had two full beds and a pull out, but we needed long term accommodations and were having lots of trouble getting any commitment from anyone as to who was going to pay for us to move out of the home we had already paid rent for. 

On The Road Again

Here is an update on our housing situation.  Crews came with heaters and blowers and moved furniture and measured the moisture in the walls to see which ones have to be removed.  They also marked the new floor the owners had put in a few months ago and plan to remove most of it.  We are in a hotel down the street while all that toxic moldy air blows itself around.  Thankfully our property management company and the owner have been helpful and willing to help us find a place to stay in the meanwhile.  The owner's homeowner's insurance has not agreed to pay for the damage because the leak has not been found and we had not purchased renter's insurance yet.  So, we are praying for God's guidance to where he wants us to be for the next two to four weeks. 

Water Seeping Up Through The Floor of our House

Otherwise titled, a good day to be a renter.

We recently sold our home and after putting bids in on different houses and getting sick of house hunting and staying in hotels (seriously), we got a rental close to family.  It felt really weird to not be in a home that we owned, until water started squishing up between the floor tiles.  Then we sorta felt relieved.  Cause it's gonna be expensive.

Then the property management lady came and said they are sending a team to handle and assess our need for displacement. 

Not so relieved.

But God is in control.  And He is good.

So it is gonna be okay.

Show your glory, Lord our God.  Amen.

Your Online BFF's Guide to First Trimester Pregnancy

Disclaimer:  The information included on the Online BFF's guide are meant for enjoyment only.  They are the equivalent of a chat between IRL BFFs over coffee and vanilla scones.  Not only are they not meant to be taken as medical or psychological advice, or in the place of medical or psychological advice, they are strictly meant to be taken "as a grain of salt".  They are from my heart to yours to keep you entertained until your next girl's night out.  Love, Your Online BFF.

Pregnancy, the First Trimester

Let me start by saying that if you are in the first trimester of your pregnancy, Congratulations!!!!!! And bless your heart.  This is such an exciting time in your life!!!!!  But don't feel bad if you, well, feel bad.  It is quite possible that you are a pale, queasy, gassy, moody, version of your former self.  It will probably change for the better very soon, but until then please know, that I love you.  I think that you are beautiful.  You are doing a very hard thing.  Hang in there.  One day soon you will perk up and pink up.  People will tell you that you are radiant.  They will give up their seats and open doors for you again.  They will even bring you gifts.  But for right now, when all of the main development of your baby is happening and no one can tell that anything is going on inside of you, you are just going to have to hang in there. 

Here are some of the things you may be experiencing:

My Favorite Free Mommy Apps

When I first got my smartphone 2 years ago,  I was obsessed with finding cool apps.  Irritatingly so, as my family will tell you.  Most of them were duds, or as cool as they were, I just didn't have time to pursue them.  However, there are a few that I still use all the time.  To this day.  And so, I must recommend them to you, you savvy technological person, you.